At 10:00, I decided we both needed a short break, Ithink me more than him. He wrapped himself in hisrobe, grabbed a water bottle from his bag and steppedout into the courtyard. Meanwhile, I tried to regainmy composure as I looked at the three drawings I didso far. They weren’t very good, but I didn’t care.It was difficult to draw with your hands shaking andyour heart beating like crazy. I was still asexcited and light-headed when he returned.It was time for a few longer poses where I could getinto additional detail. I asked him to do a sittingpose first. He graciously took off his robe and didwhat he was told, just like a proper servant would dofor his master. As soon as I saw him in his fullfrontal nudity, I suddenly had this crazy, eroticidea go through my head. I thought about reallybeing a master with Roberto as my real servant. Itwould be fantastic if I could order him to dowhatever I wanted, but I tried to put the idea out ofmy mind. The idea was too erotic. Gone were the vast expanses of flat, dull, endless nothing, and in its place were mountains, valleys, streams, forests, green grass, animals of all types and a deep blue sky with a brilliant orange sun at the horizon.Granddad stood smiling at me, his feet planted on a smooth pathway that continued off towards the mountains. 'What it means is that you know what the path looks like, and you know where it is. You always have. Your problem is one of doubt. Self doubt. You don't trust your own decisions. Ike, you are not like other people, and no matter how much you wish you were, you never will be like other people. You are going to spend your life moving among them and pretending to be like them, but you can never be like them... so stop trying. You'll be much happier and everyone around you will be too.'"I'm not a god. I don't want to be a god."'It's just a word... a label. Don't let yourself get handcuffed by labels. They only mean what you allow them to. If you don't want to be a.
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